Love

“If you want to be loved, be loveable” – Ovid

I learnt from a long time ago, that the one way to keep people coming back to you is if you treated the right. Different people respond to different things, so you have to be versatile enough to accommodate to different needs. But don’t please just anybody. As selfish as it sounds, you need to pick and choose who these people are and whether they’ll be of benefit to you in the long run or not. Because let’s face it, why do you want to waste your time on someone who wouldn’t even bother to give you the time of day?

I also learnt that you yourself need to adjust your behavior to be “loveable” to that person that you want to love you. For example, as a child you have to make sure that you are respectable and you’ll do whatever you can to make sure your parents are proud of your achievements. But as a wife, you have to be respectable as well, but in a different sense and under different circumstances.

The point is, you do what is best for you. Because at the end of the day, it’s you who’s going to end up feeling the love or pain.

“Love is the flower you’ve got to let grow” – John Lennon

My baby has recently learnt to roll over…and roll back the other way. And he’s become so confident that all he wants to do is roll. Practice makes perfect right?

Although he is only my first child, I’ve quickly learnt in these last five months that even as a baby, you’ve got to give them space. If you were to entrap them – physically, mentally or emotionally – they’re not going to go anywhere.

Actually, I think babies are the perfect example of giving them space to grow. It’s instinct for them to cry, roll, reverse, pull forward, crawl, walk, run, etc. Yes, you can teach and guide them. But there’s no way you can “teach” a four month old baby that he needs to roll over to be able to learn how to then sit and crawl.

For a while, we were pretty protective parents. So much so until we needed to have him by our side at all times. And would take turns to do so if the other needs to go to the toilet or shower. Until one day Eddie discovered that his cousin’s baby was already rolling over. Then his cousin told him to just let your baby be and he’ll roll on his own. We did…and look at him now :)

Such a tiny step as to learn how to roll is so important for any person. Everyone needs to learn on their own pace. You can never force them to do more than they’re able. What you should do is just encourage and support the most that you can.

“Love is the word used to label the sexual excitement of the young, the habituation of the middle-aged, and the mutual dependence of the old” – John Ciardi

I guess I’m not sooo young anymore, but I’m nowhere near middle-aged either. Eddie and I are at that nice, comfortable stage as a couple. But as parents, we are totally new. We’re learning new things everyday. But what I like about us is that we want to learn together. Of course there are times when we disagree, but we always manage to find a way to overcome our differences to settle on common terms.

Although I’ve only known Eddie for almost four years, it feels like it’s been so much longer. We’ve already been through so much together – celebrations, family gatherings (both sides), good, bad, up, down, death and birth – that I don’t know how I’ll be able to just pick up the pieces should anything happen to either one of us. I thank God everyday that I found someone, who may sometimes drive me crazy, but understands, encourages and accepts me. And I pray everyday to make me a better person to pay back to him what I know he deserves.

“…the mutual dependence of the old.”

I feel so sorry for Ayah. He has such a big family and so much happiness in life. But no amount of children or family gatherings can fill that void where your partner should be. At the end of your day, one of the things you want to do is share you days’ events or find comfort in your partner. Because that’s who they are. Through thick and thin. No matter what. And with everything. They’re the only ones who know you – the real you – inside out. To be denied a partner is one of the cruelest things a person deserves. I hope and pray that one day he will find happiness again.