I May Not Be the Best...

...Daughter
There's no doubt there are times I've gone head to head with my parents, and my teenage years were definitely a trying time for both parties. I may not always listen to my parents advice and go against what they tell me. But I do try to be as respectable as possible and carry out my duties as a daughter should. Of course I wish I could do more. But I only do what I'm able to.

...Sister
Having both a sister and two brothers, I know that my relationship with each is different. And there were some tough times that we've all been through as siblings as well. There were times when it was three against one, two against two, one against one, and even a time when none got along with any! But we found our good and bad along the way, and also discovered which buttons to push with each. But I think we've each come to a stage in our lives where there's no need for sibling squabbles or rivalry. What for? There's so much more to live fore :)

...Wife
I have never been a traditional Malay woman who obediently calls her husband 'abang', wears a kain batik at home and worships the ground he walks on. Ok, maybe I do wear kain batik at home :) But I still maintain calling my husband 'darling' (which he loves), and I don't necessarily worship the ground he walks on. I may not also be the best cook and I may sometimes argue back, but I'm learning along the way what is appropriate and not as I carry this honourable title. It means I need to learn not to always be so fierce and argue. It means I need to learn to take care of his feelings. It means I need to make him feel as though without him, I cannot function as a woman (just make him feel jer...although he's glad I'm independent enough and not a weakling needing to be rescued all the time). It means I need to be extra gedik and manja at times (yes, it's very important). Like I said, I'm learning along the way, and we've learnt to communicate a lot better with each other in this last year as husband and wife then we ever did as girlfriend and boyfriend.

...Mother
I have had many years working with children, and have experienced many things with other people's children. But it is NEVER the same as when you have your own child. Imagine all you want, but unless you yourself become a mother, you don't and will NEVER understand the pain, joy and sacrifice you will willingly feel for your child. It starts the moment you know he's in you. And it gets stronger when you hear his first cry. This overwhelming feeling includes pain from the birth, excitement from their first touch, joy in that first smile, and love that is forever and absolutely awesome. I'm learning along the way, and I'm doing my best to make sure my baby is loved, happy, full, clean and surrounded but nothing but the BEST for him. My choices may not always seem like the right one to you, but he is my child and I will do whatever is possible in my power as his mother to love, protect and cherish my little treasure forever.

...In-law
A sticky subject to many, but one that is all too common. Being married into a family can be a somewhat tricky thing. Because when you marry someone, you marry his WHOLE family. For the good and bad. You can never do everything to please everyone. And you can never be what his family what's you as the best choice for their child or sibling. My husband has always told me from the beginning to be who I am and not pretend to be someone else to impress, because he wants his family to see who he really fell in love with. I may not be the perfect catch - I can be labelled as "too" modern, not 100 percent religious, can't cook like my mother, think and speak in English, talks back when I strongly believe in something, moody, spoilt and demanding. But these are traits that my husband knows and has accepted, so I never tried to overcompensate my weaknesses to show off how "great" I am. I do what is required of me (and even tried to do more), and leave it to no more then that. Why try to be something you're not when you can be who you are and be happy with it?

...Employee
As an employee, I always show up early or on time, do my work and more, take the initiative, am a good team player, can work very well on my own, am friendly with my colleagues and respectful with my bosses. But of course no one's perfect. Maybe I may take a longer lunch break on Fridays, or occassionally spend too much time chatting with a colleague during working hours or on the phone, or take a 15 minute nap in the surau (haha). But I do what I can and more, but I never believe in sucking up. For anything. Ever.

...Friend
I used to be one of those friends where I was always there when you  need me. Anytime of day or night, no problem. But since becoming a wife and mother, I have slowly and steadily become more focused on other duties then as a friend. I will never neglect my friends, especially those who are still very important in my life, but it just won't be the same as before.

I may not be the best at all of this, but I try the best that I can in every aspect of my life. If it doesn't suit you, so what? It's my life :)

Pathetic

You always assume that the older generation are meant to be not only 'older', but also 'wiser'. As the 'younger' one, you assume that you should look up to these people for 'guidance'. But then what would you do when you find out that some of these people have nothing better to do in their lives but GOSSIP? Is it because their miserable, empty, gaping lives are FAKE? Or because they really have NOTHING BETTER TO DO? Or because this is FUN for them? Whatever it is, I'm glad I've discovered it now. I'm glad that I didn't waste 30 years of my life and only discovering you're a two-faced, conniving, good for nothing excuse for a human being. Syukur pada Allah that I discovered your TRUE COLOURS only 3 years after getting to know you.

So take this as my goodbye letter. Don't expect anything from me and I definitely won't expect anything from you.

Oh, and siapa2 makan cili, dia yang terasa pedas. Oooppssss...